The year of Celebrity Madness continues. The accounts below indicate that a vast majority of stars are losing their minds (sadly for one, that appears to be entirely the case).
Exhibit #1: One of my favorite actresses, Helen Mirren, recently gave an interview to GQ that she will probably (hopefully) one day wish she hadn’t shown up for.
The Daily Mail Reports:
In an interview, the actress said women who are raped after willingly going to bed with a man cannot expect their attackers to be charged. The 63-year-old, who won an Oscar last year for playing the Queen, said date-rape was a ‘tricky area’ and something men and women had to work out between themselves…She said that if a woman voluntarily ended up in a man’s bedroom, took her clothes off and engaged in sexual activity, she still had the right to say ‘no’ at the last second. If the man ignored her, Dame Helen said, that was rape. But she continued: ‘I don’t think she can have that man into court under those circumstances. I guess it is one of the many subtle parts of the men-women relationship that has to be negotiated and worked out between them.’…Dame Helen said young women now were better at standing up for themselves. ‘Times have changed,’ she said. ‘I hate young girls going around beating each other up, but I love the fierceness of young girls nowadays, and the way they just say, ‘**** off’, because I wish I’d been taught to say ‘**** off’ when I was younger. I wish I’d had those words in my arsenal of self-defence. ‘Instead, I was polite and didn’t have the courage to say that to men who wouldn’t accept “no” for an answer. I was very innocent when I went to college in London. I went to a convent school and had never spent a night away from home or gone to parties or any of that. ‘I found guys were horrible, mean, rude, insulting, and so without feeling. I was looking for love and for someone who just liked me and I just met all these creeps.’ She recalled: ‘I was [date-raped], yes. A couple of times. Not with excessive violence, but rather being locked in a room and made to have sex against my will. It’s such a tricky area, isn’t it? Especially if there is no violence. ‘I mean, look at Mike Tyson [the boxer jailed for raping beauty pageant contestant Desiree Washington in an Indianapolis hotel room]. I don’t think he was a rapist.’”
You don’t need me to point out the blatant WRONGness of her words. What in the world was she even thinking?!
Exhibit #2: According to Fox News, Britney Spears is being wooed to sing and perform live in front of the Royal Family. Yeah, just let that sink in for a minute.
Insiders tell me that the pop tart is in talks with EBF, the home of the famous variety show held each year in front of the royal family in December. The idea came from Prince Harry and Chelsey – they are both big fans. Word is the singer who has battled demons and divorce is “over the moon with the offer and making arrangements as I write.”An insider tells me “she feels that this is a great seal of approval and knows that it’s an honor to be asked. Plus, what a great comeback and who better than in front of the royal family?”
Exhibit #3: Amy Winehouse, in spite of having a ridiculous amount of talent, may have given herself brain damage. Her love of drugs may have cost her more than she ever really had to lose. According to The Sun:
Shock details of Amy Winehouse’s drug use emerged last night – she binged on crystal meth and may have brain damage after a 36-HOUR pot marathon. The singer, 24, suffered two major overdoses, with such bad convulsions that they were “like a scene from The Exorcist”. And her body is so frail from drug use that doctors were scared she would break bones during a fit. A close pal of Amy’s laid bare the truth – warning medics said one more overdose will probably kill her. The friend revealed: Amy’s first overdose in August last year was from cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, ketamine and crystal meth. She was advised to see a psychiatrist after displaying “multiple personality traits” that made her a suicide risk. Her second overdose was in July – when she inhaled an “inhuman” amount of hash that left her vomiting uncontrollably and hallucinating. At the time devoted dad Mitch, 54, said it was a “bad reaction to her medication”. Medics are worried Amy’s brain was damaged by the cannabis overdose – she displayed symptoms normally associated with schizophrenia. The pal yesterday said: “The future is bleak, bleak, bleak. Mitch does everything he can to protect his daughter – but his ‘explanation’ for Amy’s hospital dash in July was just simply untrue. She had smoked an inhuman amount of hash which resulted in acute cannabis poisoning. You have to take a shitlload of pot to suffer that severe a reaction. It’s thought she had been smoking it for 36 hours.” Amy’s fits were as bad as the convulsions she had during her overdose in August last year. No one has mentioned her meth use before – but that stuff is truly nasty.”
Exhibit #4: Amy Winehouse in training, Lily Allen recently made a complete ass of herself. The Daily Mail reports:
As the evening wore on, Lily’s state gradually deteriorated as she continually sipped champagne on stage. The 23-year-old, decked out in an extravagant ballgown, soon began slurring, swearing and ad-libbing – and it was only a matter of time before she had an all-too-public fall-out on stage with co-host Elton. When she came to announce ‘…and now the most important part of the night’, Elton chipped in ‘What? Are you going to have another drink?’ She fired back: ‘F*** off Elton. I am 40 years younger than you and have my whole life ahead of me!’ The shocked audience fell silent. A clearly rattled Elton replied ‘I could still snort you under the table’. To which she replied: ‘F*** off. I don’t know what you are talking about.’ On more than one occasion, Elton could be seen having a stern word with her in the wings between awards. She barely made it off the stage after the awards ended – before drinking even more at the afterparty.”
Exhibit #5: Not to be left out (just in case you were thinking the British were the only ones sipping from the bottle marked CRAZY), we have a few Americans vying for attention. Pamela Anderson and Michael Jackson may be dating. Mirror UK reports:
The odd couple seem to have bonded over their love of plastic surgery and have been hooking up in Malibu. We hear the big-boobed babe is a massive fan of Michael… and it seems the feeling is mutual. A source said: “It was all arranged by their people in total secrecy, very cloak and dagger. Michael is such a private person. He gets nervous when he thinks people are following him around, so he chose somewhere neutral for their first date. “They arrived separately at the Shutters Hotel on Malibu Beach so no one would suspect anything and then had a few drinks in the bar.” The pair requested a hidden area in the corner – for two reasons. Firstly, it shielded them from any prying eyes. And second, it would have protected them from the dangerous melting effects of the Californian sunshine. After all, there’s a fine line between looking hot and having a runny, bubbling face. Our source went on: “They were very chatty. Pamela was being her usual flirty self and Michael seemed to be responding. They are such a strange couple but they seemed to really hit it off.” So much so Michael plucked up the courage to ask Pammy out on a second date. And she was more than happy to accept. We’re told: “They went for a coffee at Country Mart in Malibu and looked very comfortable with each other. “They chatted about Michael turning 50, his new album, their kids. And he seemed genuinely interested in Pamela.”
What in the world would these two ever have in common?!
