As I mention on the About Page for Hollywood Yesterday, I am stunningly careful and respectful when writing about these wonderful stars from Old Hollywood. Heck, I even use extra care when simply posting their pictures, whether it’s on my blog or Twitter Page.
I’m diligent about keeping these beautiful stars shining brightly and I want them to shine on at their very best. Whether it’s a post I publish on this blog or tweets I send on Twitter, I often remind myself of a heart-tugging quote Rita Hayworth once told someone, “Whatever you write about me, don’t make it sad.”
I have no idea of doing anything remotely like that, Rita. You’re safe with me.
Yesterday I started to tweet a photo of Rita (seems I’m extra protective of her!) and I looked closely at it first… it occurred to me that it wouldn’t be one she’d want to be remembered by. Trust me, it didn’t take long to find a better one. I had a couple zillion to choose from.
These beautiful, wonderful, amazing, extraordinary stars were human, just like the rest of us. Even Rita was presumably human. Whether they’re still with us or have passed on, they want to be remembered at their best.
It honestly breaks my heart when I see someone bringing up the worst moments in someone’s life after they’ve passed. I always want to ask them, “Do you want to be remembered, after you’re gone, for your worst moments or your best?” Seriously, some seem to carry a personal vendetta against select stars for what they once said, who they once divorced, what they once did, how they voted (seriously?!?) etc.
Why? Well, it’s beyond me. If, say social justice warriors Jane Doe or her brother John Doe want to make the world a better place, I commend them. How about volunteering at a homeless shelter or home for battered women and/or children, taking up and supporting a cause to help those who are hurting or hungry, jump on board a program that’s making the world safer and happier place for Veterans, children, animals, dolphins, the elderly, diabetics, people with Down’s Syndrome, Autism, etc. The Does could take that passion and drive (both of which are admirable traits) and direct them where they truly make a difference.
So many people would WIN then… life is so much sweeter when you focus your energy on making wins for lots of people as opposed to a loss for one. Especially when that one has already passed on!
Frankly, wagging one’s tongue relentlessly about an actor or actress who is no longer even alive isn’t doing anyone any good. Negativity and toxicity almost always most hurts the one who is spreading it around. Kind of like when I spread fertilizer on my flowers, herbs, or vegetables… it gets on me, it doesn’t get on anyone else. To keep drawing from a pool of toxicity, hate, and slandering would be like me deciding I very much wanted to just spread the fertilizer out on the ground and wallow in it.
Not a great look. My cats would have me committed.
I have noticed something on social media lately – I’d say over the course of the past year. The more toxic and negative people in the old Hollywood community are fading away. They’re discovering that people may be mildly amused by constant anger and by someone belittling and making fun of people for a while but, ultimately, they tire of all the drama and feel smothered by the toxicity. With no one else to rant to, they simply disappear. Now, don’t get me wrong, I actually hate it. I’d much rather they had, mid-rant about this actor or that one, realized that they were helping no one. Personally, I believe they think they’re making themselves look good. If one has to dig up a bad quote or mistake from someone no longer even living to make themselves look good, it’s kind of sad… downright bordering on pathetic.
Another pet peeve is when someone (again on social media) responds to a positive message with vile for the individual. When I first jumped on the social media bandwagon, some people had me reluctant to even post about a couple of people because they always had venom to spew. One day.. I remember it well because I literally had a mental and physical pivot lol… I sat down to Tweet something about Katharine Hepburn. I stood back up thinking, “Oh, no.. there’ll be about 3 different people who’ll say negative things about her relationship with Spencer Tracy and a few others who’ll make fun of her… I don’t have the mental bandwidth for them today…” But, as I stood up, the more spirited side of my persona told the mild side, “Heck them!” and we all sat back down.
Since then, when someone says something negative about someone (Katharine, Spencer, John Wayne, Marilyn Monroe, James Dean are some of people’s favorite targets), I literally tweet three more things about the person.
Petty? Probably. But it amuses the spirited side greatly.
(Continued below the wonderful Katharine Hepburn…)
I am just so very, very thankful that the vast majority of people in the Old Hollywood community are just as respectful of the stars as I am. I can tell by the graciousness of their words and even by the photos they share. It makes me so happy that there are so many people who want to keep these stars alive and well – whether it’s the ones who are already household names…
- Marilyn Monroe
- Rita Hayworth
- John Wayne
- Ava Gardner
- Henry Fonda
- Maureen O’Hara
- James Stewart
- Joan Crawford
- Sidney Poitier
- Bette Davis
- Katharine Hepburn
- Audrey Hepburn
- Veronica Lake
- Lionel Barrymore
- Lena Horne
… or those we are trying very hard to MAKE household names…
- Ann Sheridan
- Ethel Barrymore
- Margaret Lindsay
- Paul Henreid
- Victor McLaglen
- Beulah Bondi
- Paul Robeson
- Thomas Mitchell
- Dorothy Dandridge
- Rhonda Fleming
- Ann Dvorak
I love that so many people are doing their part to keep Old Hollywood alive and exciting. I wish I could personally thank every single person who is involved.
At any rate, there you have it – the ins and outs of why I am relentlessly positive, why I don’t respond to negativity, and why I don’t shine spotlights on flaws or use myself as an echo for ugly quotes. Just because someone doesn’t want to talk about, read about, or point out mistakes others have made doesn’t mean they approve of any of them – it simply means they’re busy living their own life and have their hands full with this whole being a human thing to cast a single stone.
Thank you so much for being here, you honor me with your presence,
~ Joi (“Joy”)